


Goodbye, So Long, Farewell

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama/Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 05:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair begins his lonely journey to his new job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye, So Long, Farewell

## Goodbye, So Long, Farewell

by BCW  
September 30, 1997  


The petite, dark-haired, young woman looked up from her terminal behind the heavy glass window and smiled at her first customer of the day. "Destination?" 

"Philadelphia." 

Her fingers flew across the keyboard. "Round trip or one-way?" she asked, not even looking up again. 

The customer emitted a deep and profound sigh. "One-way," he said softly. 

The clerk didn't seem to notice as she efficiently stamped the ticket and handed it out through the window. "Enjoy your trip, sir. And come back to see us." She smiled one last professional smile at him. 

"That's highly unlikely," came the unhappy reply and he stepped out of line and melted into the flowing mass of people moving catching the train. 

In the hustle of the crowded terminal no one noticed the slump of the man's shoulders or the drag in his step. As if the large suitcase he carried, and the smaller shoulder carry-on dangling from a heavy strap, contained all the weight of the world. 

Navigating the narrow hallways, the man quickly found an empty compartment. Once inside, he settled his bags, slammed the door shut, and slouched down in the seat, pulling the shade against the light. Soon, lulled by the repetitive movement of the train, and the tension of the past few weeks, he fell into a deep and restless sleep.   
  


* * *

The defense of his dissertation had been a success. Blair could admit now that he had had his doubts. He was now officially 'Dr. Sandburg'. The 'doctor' in front of his name would always sound strange to him. The truth was, he had only finished writing it at the urging of his partner. Jim had bullied and bitched at him until he had angrily pounded the keys of his poor laptop, until he'd finished the paper. Then Blair printed and submitted it to the Board. Jim had stood in the back of the room, silently offering moral support throughout his oral defense. 

When it was all over and done, Blair had promptly put the entire unpleasant episode out of his mind hoping his life would return to some semblance of normal. Unfortunately, the 'normal' life for 'teaching fellow' Blair was a far cry from 'normal' for 'Dr. Sandburg' as he soon found out. 

First, there were no positions at the university available to him, so finishing his degree had basically finished his job at Rainier. He sulked for days. Jim had finally suggested he send letters out to neighboring universities. Blair had balked at the idea, but it seemed the harder he dug in his heels, the harder his Sentinel pulled. In a form of revenge, Blair sent letters out to other states, some as far away as the east coast. His blood ran cold as he opened the mail one day and found three of them had been impressed enough to reply. 

At first, he hadn't told Jim. Blair fended off his questions with vague excuses, delaying the inevitable. But, like always, his Sentinel had found out. Ellison had seemed so excited by the offers that, in the end, Blair had assumed it was Jim's not-so-subtle way of telling him he wanted Blair out of his loft and his life. Finally, when the pain of Jim's rejection became too great, Blair reluctantly accepted a position at the one the farthest away from the state of Washington. Suddenly, he found himself attending his farewell party, saying goodbye to everyone he had come to care about, and packing his bags to leave the only real home he had ever known. 

Now, barely outside Cascade city limits, Dr. Sandburg felt lost, empty and alone. How had it come to this, when he had never wanted to go in the first place? Blair had thought he had made it clear to Jim that he would stay with him forever. He loved him. Forever. Hadn't he told him that? No, **Dr**. Sandburg, coward, you never did. So, now he was on a train, moving farther and farther away from his axis. He missed his home, he missed his friends, and most of all, he missed his Sentinel. What he could not bring himself to do was say goodbye to Jim. So, a day earlier than they'd planned, he'd poured his heart and soul onto the pages of a letter and slipped away like a thief.   
  


* * *

Ellison sat at his desk in the bullpen, on the verge of a 'zone', staring into nothing. The  
room was full of people, sounds, smells, but he was only aware of the absence of one heartbeat,  
the lack of one presence, his senses straining to pick up the fading scent of his partner. Blair's  
scent was less prominent here than it was at home and soon it would fade from there, also.

Tonight would be their last night together. Tomorrow he boarded a plane for a new job, a new life far away from him. Why? Because it was the best thing for him. His thesis was finished. Jim's Sentinel abilities were under control. Besides, there weren't any more places on Blair's body he could safely injure. He'd been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, tortured, injuries Jim wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. No, it would be safer away from Jim, away from Cascade, away from the police. Safer and better. . .well, safer anyway. And all Ellison could do now was try to outlive the misery. 

"Ellison!" 

Jim snapped back to reality at the bellow of his captain's voice. 

"Yeah, Simon. You don't have to yell." 

"Well, excuse me, Detective, but since you didn't seem to hear me the first ten times I called you. . ." 

A look of profound sadness settled like a dense cloud over Jim's face. "Sorry." 

Simon had reached the end of his rope. "In my office, now." 

He waited until Jim had settled in the chair across from his desk before he began talking. "You gonna tell me what's wrong, or are you gonna make me guess?" 

"Nothing's. . ." 

"Stow it, Ellison. You think I'm blind or just stupid?" 

"I don't know what. . ." 

Simon's tone softened. "Jim, am I your friend?" 

"I don't know what. . ." 

"Am I?" 

"Yes, of course you are, but what's that got to do with. . ." 

Simon held up his hand to silence his detective. "Then will you take some friendly advice?" 

"Ok, Cap, but. . ." 

He held up his hand again. "Tell him." 

"I don't know. . ." 

"Tonight's his last night in Cascade. Tell him how you feel before it's too late." 

"Simon, I. . ." 

Holding his hand up for the third time, "Tell him, Jim," Simon insisted. 

Ellison stared at him a full minute before he slumped, defeated, back into the chair. "Suppose he doesn't want to know?" 

"Suppose he does?" 

"It could ruin the perfect friendship." 

"And it could make it better." 

Jim sat up a little straighter. "Never thought I'd hear this kind of encouragement from you, Simon." 

"It kinda surprised me, too. Now get out of here. I expect to see **both** of you here bright and early Monday morning. Now, scoot!"   
  


* * *

Jim flung open the door to the loft. "Chief!" And was in the center of the room before the emptiness registered on his senses. He zeroed in on the envelope resting against the centerpiece of the kitchen table. 

With shaky fingers, he tore open the flap and extracted the single sheet of heavy paper. 

> _  
> Jim -  
> _
> 
> Well, man, I guess I always knew it would come to this. I mean, it was all too good to be true from the start. Finding a full Sentinel for my research and that Sentinel taking me as his Guide. That Sentinel offering me my very first real home, becoming my very first real friend. . .becoming my very first true love. 
> 
> There, now you know. I Love You, James Ellison. I have for years now, but I knew if I ever told you, the fairy tale would end. Well, it's over anyway, right? No 'Happily Ever After' for Dr. Blair Sandburg. And now, it's a little late to hope, isn't it? 
> 
> Well, man, it's been great, and I know you're glad to finally be rid of me. I just wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.   
>  I'll miss you.  
>   
>  Goodbye, so long, farewell   
>   
>  Blair.

The piece of starched vellum fell from the Sentinel's nerveless fingers and he was out the door before the piece of paper touched the floor.   
  


* * *

A quick call to the airlines verified what Jim already knew. Blair had turned his ticket in for a refund. That left train, bus or car. Rental car agencies turned up empty, and somehow he didn't think Blair would take the bus. That left the train. 

He missed the last train leaving for Penn Station by an hour. 

Deflated, Jim slumped down into one of the station's chairs. 

"Are you all right, young man?" 

Jim's head snapped up. It wasn't often he was called 'young' anything. A distinguished looking gentleman, silver hair, business suit, was sitting in the chair next to him. 

"Yes." Jim didn't sound convincing, even to himself. 

"Well, you don't look all right." 

"I missed the train." 

The elderly man smiled indulgently. "No need to work yourself into a state, son, there'll be another train." 

"You don't understand. There's someone on the train. . ." 

"Oh," a pause, "girlfriend, wife?" 

Jim blushed. "It wasn't a woman." 

The man studied him a moment. "Oh." Then smiled. "Friend?" 

"Best friend. More, **much** more if he'll let me." 

Another quiet, "Oh." 

Jim turned to the man and asked defensively, "Does that bother you?" 

"No. Not at all," came the unruffled reply, "The pause only meant I was trying to come up with a solution to your dilemma." 

Jim sighed. It was hopeless. "Thanks, but it's too late." 

"Nonsense, young man! When you've lived as long as I have, you learn that nothing is ever truly hopeless." He leaned forward slightly. "I don't know the circumstances surrounding your predicament, young man, but I do know, if you want him, you shouldn't be sitting here." 

"Well, I can't fly." 

"Oh, why can't you?" 

"What?" 

"Fly. You're letting your grief cloud your judgement. There has to be an airport between here and the next station, doesn't it?" 

"I. . .I honestly don't know." 

"If not, rent a helicopter, **something** , anything is better than just sitting here letting him slip away, isn't it?" 

Jim blinked stupidly at the man. He was right. In his misery, that had never occurred to him. "You know, you're right. Thanks." 

"You're welcome, young man." He smiled again, "And good luck." 

It was a short, frantic ride to the airport. Jim had even hit the sirens and the lights. Luckily, there was a plane leaving within the next few minutes. The clerk barely had time to complete their transaction before Jim had snatched the appropriate paperwork from his hands and sprinted towards the gate. 

The commuter flight had barely come to a stop on the runway, when Jim raced down the ramp, flashed his badge at a waiting cab and barked out the command, 'Get me to the train station.' 

Once there, Jim learned the train that held his precious cargo was due into the station in two hours. The Sentinel silently thanked the deity that watched over lovers as he purchased a ticket and sat down to wait. Those were two of the longest hours of his life. 

Finally, the train pulled in and Jim raced aboard searching hysterically for his Guide. Long moments passed before the looks of the passengers began registering on Jim's panic-filled mind. If he didn't calm his movements, they were going to restrain him and he'd never find Blair. He stopped, took several deep breaths, and began listening for his love's heartbeat. 

It took nearly an hour of meticulously searching the crowded train, but he located Blair asleep in a compartment in one of the rear cars. Jim slipped inside and sat in the seat across from him, content just to watch him sleep. 

He looked so young. 

Gingerly, the Sentinel touched the curls framing that much loved face. "Someday," he whispered with a fond smile, "I'll train you to lock the door." 

Blair turned, as if recognizing the voice, as if drawn to the warmth and security promised by that touch. "Jim," he murmured in his sleep. 

"That's right, Darwin, your Sentinel tracked you down." 

Blair opened his eyes wide, focusing on the vision before him. "Jim!" 

"Still on the right track, Chief." 

He blinked, still not believing what he saw. "Jim!" 

Ellison smiled, giving the curl he'd been handling a slight tug. "Now you're stuck in a rut." 

Blair sat up, eyes still wide. "Jim, what're you **doing** here?" 

Jim reluctantly released the lock of hair and sat back in the seat. "Looking for something I lost." 

Dr. Sandburg seemed to deflate at that statement. "Hey, man, did I pack something important that belonged to you? I really tried to be careful . . . " 

Jim leaned forward to put his fingers against Blair's lips. "Yeah, you took something vital and I want it back." 

Blair pulled away from the fingers that seemed to sear into his flesh and turned to his luggage. "Hey, Jim, I'm sorry. If you just tell me what it is. . ." And found himself pulled roughly into a tight embrace. 

"You." 

Blair braced himself with his hands on Jim's forearms. "Me? But, the way you've been acting lately, I thought. . ." 

And any further protests were sealed by a heart-stopping, soul-revealing kiss. 

Jim pulled away. "And I'm never going to lose it again." 

Blair blinked rapidly. "Never?" 

"What do you think?" 

He smiled just before throwing his arms around his Sentinel. "I think that's great! Considering, it didn't want to **be** lost in the first place." 

"And I didn't want to **lose** it in the first place. Let's go home, Chief."   
  


* * *

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